Wednesday, 11 February 2009

Deep Shock! HOW much?

This edition is rather late, chiefly due to the shock I sustained at the dentist's today. I have a craggy tooth that she attempted to mend a few weeks ago and her dental plaster or whatever it's called fell off after three days and a packet of toasted almonds. So today, she was fixing it again, but suggested the only positive step would be a crown. When I asked her how much that would be, given this is our National Health Service dentist, she said £198.00, around $300 I reckon. I told her to stick a bit more plaster on and high-tailed it out of there. Since it has been broken for about 2 years and is giving no pain, I will put up with it a wee while longer, or until I win the lottery. What a cheek! For one tooth! I would expect a complete mouth refurbishment and a set of dentures for that kind of money. So instead of bleating on about it, and boring you all into a coma, I thought I might share this letter with you. It has proved very effective and was written by A Member of My Family, whose anonymity I must protect, for fear of reprisals. Apologies to Peugeot owners.

"Dear Peugeot Owner,

While we the residents of This Road appreciate the rustic French charm your vehicle lends to our humble little street, we feel that other streets are being sadly ignored (your own included) when you randomly abandon your little green eyesore for entire weekends. We therefore propose a rota system whereby neighbouring streets can also enjoy the delights of a smashed up shit heap parked at a rakish 45degree angle to the pavement.

On the weekends when This Road is sadly devoid of such aesthetic wonders, we were all in agreement that a substitute in the form of a large, steaming dog turd would suffice.

We look forward to your assistance in the implementation of our new parking rota.
The This Road Parking Committee

What more can I say?

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